The Terror of Knowing
by Dresupi
Summary: Hermione Granger is breaking the rules. She's using a time turner to save lives. And she might very well be addicted to it. Post Hogwarts. Definitely not epilogue compliant. Not even canon compliant. Blatant timeline reparations. Hermione/Remus/Sirius. Everyone lives. One Shot. Light angst.


**I wrote this as part of my 1980s song prompt series on tumblr. Phoenix-173 prompted this, the song is 'Under Pressure' by Queen and David Bowie (1982).**

 **This is time turner madness. This is blatant timeline reparations. Everyone lives.**

 **Also, I have no plans to continue it, so don't ask. *wink***

 **It's cross posted on tumblr and ao3. I'm Dresupi everywhere.**

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Hermione's head drooped against the bus window. She knew she couldn't keep this up. It was madness.

 _ _And__ it was rampant misuse of a time turner. She'd picked it up on a curse-breaking run. Snuck it into her pocket. One of hundreds her department had found. It wouldn't be missed. But if the Ministry ever found out…

They wouldn't. They couldn't. What she was doing was too important. She couldn't help but think that her fellows needed her. Their past selves, at any rate.

Past-Remus was all alone, waiting for nothing, with nothing to look forward to, struggling with depression.

Past-Sirius existed a few years later than Remus' timeline. And he was on the run. Looking for Harry. In his dog form most of the time.

There was no danger of running into her past-self. So there was no danger of being found out while time-travelling.

She wondered when she'd get a visit from their current selves. When they'd put it together and traipse together into her office to tell her off. Or worse… relay their disappointment. It was a matter of time, funnily enough. They were both very clever. Remus especially. And she existed in three timelines now. It was only a matter of time before she made a mistake. If she hadn't already.

But she couldn't really be bothered with those thoughts. Not when there was so much pressure to do the right thing.

Anyone who thought she could be happy as a Ravenclaw had obviously not stuck around to see the adult she'd become. A do-gooder with no respect for the rules. Hermione Granger was a Gryffindor. No doubt about it.

She pulled the cord to stop the bus, knowing that she'd still have to walk a ways to get to the exact place she said she'd meet Remus. Twenty years before.

Her head was pounding. A side effect of all the time-hopping.

It was becoming an addiction. She was smart enough to know that. But she was also unable to stop. Hence the compulsory feeling of her actions. It gave her power. Knowing that she could change the past. Right wrongs. Save lives.

It was true. The two of them were alive because of her meddling. A few day's worth of charm work ensured that Sirius merely fell through a wormhole into another part of the Ministry during that fateful night in her fifth year at Hogwarts. A simple cushioning charm and a few well-timed Proteus kept Remus from succumbing to a Death Eater's spell at the Battle of Hogwarts.

And now? She was really just… well… She was stalling. Stalling for time. Bringing food and supplies to both of these men who had somehow stolen her heart throughout her travels. Visiting them in the past because she was too much of a coward to visit them in the present. Bit of a conundrum for a Gryffindor, she realized. Cowardice.

What had started as a personal quest to right two horrendous wrongs had turned into a compulsion. An addiction she couldn't fight.

She stood and walked to the front of the bus, dropping a few coins as a tip into the tip box and stepping off onto the darkened street. She didn't know why she never worried for her own safety in these situations. Another dastardly Gryffindor trait, she'd wager.

Ron and Harry certainly seemed to suffer from the same affliction.

She heard footsteps behind her. Which wasn't an uncommon occurrence. She __was__ in London, after all. Muggles and Magical folks alike frequented this area.

Hermione simply sped up a little, deciding that arriving at her destination sooner was better than later.

When the footsteps behind her sped up as well, she felt a small bloom of panic in her chest. Right around where her heart was. Beating erratically and spreading through her blood like a virus.

She tried to steady her breathing, tried not to run. Running was a sign of weakness. Running would alert her follower that she was starting to get scared. And fear was something she hated showing.

She gulped back her nerves and steadied her pace.

And that's when one of them spoke. One single word. And her fear turned into something more. Something worse. Mania.

"Hermione."

She froze, stopping still in her tracks for just a moment before resuming. This time at a brisk sprint. She recognized the voice. And if she stopped, she'd never arrive at her destination. Remus would just be waiting for her. And she'd never show up.

Never mind that __Remus__ was the owner of one of the pairs of feet in rapid pursuit of her. And the voice calling her name.

Never mind that Sirius Black was likely the owner of the other pair.

If she stopped, she'd never be able to go back again. If she let on that she knew that they'd come around, that they'd put the clues together enough to follow her here, she'd never be able to travel again.

And that was the thing about compulsory activities, she supposed. One continued on with them until forcibly stopped, either by yourself or by someone else.

The growl that rumbled behind her made her sprint turn into a dash. She just had to find the now abandoned curiosity shop. It was empty. She'd scoped out the place in the days preceding. If she could get inside, she could barricade herself until she used the time turner.

And then?

She'd figure it out later. She __had__ been the brightest witch of her year, after all.

Even at her fastest, she was no match for the big black dog that skidded to a halt in front of her.

Or the pair of strong arms that wound around her waist, pinning hers to her sides as she toppled onto her knees.

The dog morphed back into man. Sirius was standing before her, with Remus' arms holding her tightly.

After a quick look around, Sirius reached down to grab her shoulder. And they apparated with a snap.

She arrived on the floor of the main salon of Grimmauld Place. The moon was a mere crescent, shining in through a window.

Sirius disarmed her before Remus let her go. And she reached automatically for the time-turner around her neck.

Remus snapped the chain before she could use it, as ill-thought out a plan as it was. She had no wand, what in Merlin's name could she do with no wand apparating back through the years in this salon? The best-case scenario involved running into her past self on Order of the Phoenix business, or getting herself murdered by a very surprised Pureblood family at the worst.

Tears began to flow immediately and she hid her face in her hands. "I'm… I'm so sorry…" she sobbed.

Sirius was gripping her shoulders in a split second. "Why are you sorry, love? Other than completely fucking with the timelines, all you've done is save our lives. Repeatedly."

"You're… you're not disappointed in me?"

"No!" he exclaimed, but changed his answer after a stern look from Remus. "Well. We're disappointed that you broke so many rules to do it."

"And endangered yourself," Remus interjected. "Do you know what long term time travel can do to someone? Even someone as bright as you are, Hermione. You've constantly put yourself in harm's way. And what's worse, you never __ever__ told us it was you. __Or__ asked us once for help."

"You've helped us enough, dear girl. Let us return the favor." Sirius' arms slid around her quaking form and tears began to fall fresh. She was getting his jumper all wet, but it didn't look like he could be bothered about that.

Remus' arms went around her as well, and it was awkward, being held by the both of them. But at the same time, it was such a relief.

"No more of this, Hermione," Remus whispered. "Promise me. And if you've really grown to care about us like I think you have, please try to keep it."

"I promise," she replied. "I promise."

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 **If you liked it, leave me something sweet in the comments, please? *hearts***


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